Mark 8:34-38

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."
(Mar 8:34-38)

"Follow Me". I can't believe that Jesus said that to me?! This moment with Jesus and the disciples is a constant resounding word shared personally between myself and Jesus. I remember the first time that Jesus said this to me...I had no doubt in my mind, and still to this day do not doubt it, that Jesus is speaking personally and specifically to me as he has commanded the disciples.

I'd like to sound humble and say that the cross did not have an attraction to me...that I struggled to decide to follow Jesus...but the truth is, I was crushed by the beauty of the cross. There was nothing about this invitation into death WITH Jesus that did not excite every sense within me. There was nothing about HIS death that did not bring me at one single moment the greatest amount of pain and joy in the same instance.

I was so tired of my life I was ready for suicide...I welcomed Jesus' invitation to come with Him and die. I hated the world so much...I hated who I was in it...I hated what people did to me...I hated the whole cursed thing...Jesus invited me to take endless pleasure in the one thing that the world never gave me. The world never gave me Jesus and Jesus is inviting me to betray all past loyalties to this world and to live and walk IN HIM, THROUGH HIM, LIKE HIM, and WITH HIM.

So beautiful. When I consider his agony, all that I know is His Love. When I consider his crown, all that I know is the most unforgettable King whose very death and suffering has become his commanding power through love. Jesus, The Cross, and Salvation...So Beautiful. I will follow Him...I just can't believe that he would let me. This truly is, His choosing, not mine. I will come and follow Him.